Saturday, 5 November 2016

Romance Is Dead (Thanks Tinder!)

Romance is on a rapid journey towards extinction. It has been brutally undervalued by millennials for years, and as a direct result, it is endangered. With your help and just one love letter a month, we can end this abuse and save romance from disappearing forever. DONATE NOW.

I have just cancelled, last minute, on my fourth Tinder date this month. Why? Because it feels as though something is missing. Preparing for a Tinder date is marred with dread, a feeling in my stomach that I can only associate to those school days where all I could do was consider pulling a sicky in order to escape. It's a notion that is confusing for me, as ultimately I have signed myself in for these dates. Indeed, I agreed to go. So, at one point it was what I wanted, right?

No, that's not it. I'll tell you what it is. It's simply a case of boredom, peppered with a hint of loneliness. I have just moved to London, and for this past month, I have felt paranoid that by making this move I am subjecting myself to spinsterhood. I don't know anybody here and nobody even so much as smiles at me on my daily routine. In fact, I would go as far to say that they legitimately frown at me. So, how will I ever find 'the one', my true soulmate, my partner in crime?

So, we are back to the beginning again. Tinder. The app that we all love to hate, but still use frequently. Why can we not stop ourselves from trawling through reams of potential suitors who do not have anything remotely in common with us? It remains a mystery. Tinder breeds creatures who wouldn't thrive on any other platform. If a guy walked up to you in the street and bluntly told you that he was into casual sex and needed someone that felt the same way, would you run into his arms? Or in the opposite direction? 

Ultimately, and to cut a long story short, I know what it is that is 'missing' from my Tinder experience. It is the elusive thing of romance. The type that is only featured these days in Hollywood films and questionable TV adverts. We need a romance revolution. A lot has changed since the good old days of Truman Capote and Jane Austen novels, and we cannot simply wait in our stately homes for a knight in shining armour to appear, horseback and gallop off with us into the sunset. It is time to save romance, before its too late. 


  1. This made me laugh more than it probably should considering I am single


With freedom, books, flowers and the moon, who could not be happy? - Oscar Wilde




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