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Sunday, 16 October 2016

The New Adventure: London





On the 2nd of October 2016, I moved to London. Why? Because I had exhausted the Tinder options in my local area and rumour has it that all the eligible young men of this country reside in the capital. Coincidentally, I also acquired a new job in the big city, which fits conveniently into my plans, and shall at least fund my misadventures. 

I have taken up residence in a large flat situated on Brick Lane in Shoreditch. The main appeal of this location? The abundance of curry houses within immediate reach. So, after having indulged in one to many alcoholic beverages, I can be a foul cretin and crawl into my bed with a peshwari naan for comfort. 

My plan is to document as many of my escapades as possible upon this section of the internet that I call my own. That way, I can look back on my pursuits and smile through the tear inducing poverty situation that I now find myself within. 

In order to celebrate my two week anniversary of moving to London (also known as, the longest time I have gone without eating due to being broke), I present to you an uncompromised list of things that have made me smile this past fortnight:

  • The look of utter disgust on my fellow passengers faces when I devoured a Five Guy's burger (bacon, cheese and fried onions, commonly known as: what dreams are made of) and chips on the district line home at 5pm on a Saturday.
  • The local fruit stall vendor, who offers me his grapes to then tell me in his thick east-end accent that nice young girls shouldn't accept sweets of strangers. Noted. 
  • That today, I purchased a pair of essentially-new Russell & Bromley brogues from my local vintage store for £15. I mean, that could technically be classed as stealing.
  • Figuring out, that when I am totally brassic, I can comfortably feed myself on free food samples at the local market on my doorstep.
  • My Australian housemate, who keeps his bread in the fridge. What on earth is that all about?!
  • The drunk man who claimed to be a comedian in Covent Garden, who said he wanted to take all the children in Syria home with him, but then felt compelled to say he was in no way a pedophile. Alrighty then. 
  • My Chinese housemate who has yet to talk to me, or even look me in the eye. Which might have something to do with my mother thinking she was the cleaner on the day I moved in.
  • The hoards of devoted fans at the David Bowie tribute mural in Brixton, who were leaving yellow peppers as gifts on the street underneath it. I am sure his spirit will be touched.
  • The fight I found myself an unwitting participator in when a woman tripped over my stationary suitcase in Tesco's. 
In summary, these two weeks have been relatively blissful and I have only had one nervous breakdown, so I think it can be classed a success. 

I shall endeavour to update my London life in succinct posts, that shall hopefully bring you great entertainment. So, do stay tuned for future musings...






2 comments:

  1. Good luck with the adventure. Good that you are back. Looking forward to hearing more about your adventure.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oooooh. I want to move to London!! It is the place to be :D

    ReplyDelete

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